I have had 2 pregnancies and 4 kids. (I’m totally
efficient, I know). The biggest lesson the Lord has taught me as a mom, with
each child, is a deeper dependence on Him and to TRUST. That is SO hard
sometimes!
As a mom I learned:
that life is fragile
love is unconditional
I am vulnerable
The potential for pain is so much greater and
TRUST God with it ALL.
Our first pregnancy was followed by 2 years
of infertility. The struggle was sometimes SO.VERY.HARD. but God was faithful
and present in it all. In those two years I started learning how to keep my
eyes on God, eyes lifted up. Started to learn to TRUST, even if He never gave
us any children. But He did. He gave us a beautiful, healthy baby girl! Life so fragile, so precious. What a joy!
Then, I became pregnant with twins. At 29 weeks, my uterus
ruptured. This threatened my life, and the lives of my baby boys. TRUST. My
husband knew this could the worst moment of his life. We both knew that I could die, and the boys could die. In the operating room, just before being put under, I prayed and I had such peace. A peace that could have only been from God. I knew that if I died it would still all be ok becuase He was in control and He would take care of everyone. TRUST.
After 2
months in the NICU, the boys came home, but they were not healthy. 5 days later one
was rushed by an escorted ambulance to intensive care. They said in the
ambulance that he may not make it. I sat there with him. Helpless. I prayed.
TRUST. God gave him to us, but he was still God’s child. Then, praise God, he did
survive, but the other one was then sent to the hospital in an ambulance. Not
again Lord, I said. I was so weary. But just when I thought, “I can’t do this!”
God always gave us just what I needed to keep going. So many wonderful friends helped in such big ways. God’s perfect timing.
TRUST.
Then, when our daughter was 4 and our twins were 18 months
old, God very clearly called us to adopt a 12 month old girl in Uganda. What??
Wouldn’t that be like having triplets?? TRUST. Then a year later, after SO many
issues (some we thought would be the end our adoption process) God told me to go
to Uganda. Without a court date. TRUST. I left my husband, who is my best
friend, and my 3 little kids. 10 weeks in Uganda and God did INCREDIBLE
things! TRUST. I had to show love to a child who didn’t want it. Love is
unconditional. God did some incredible healing and it was just
amazing to be a part of it. TRUST.
When the days are hard, I ask myself where my eyes are
focused. Are they looking up? My hardest times are when my eyes are focused on
myself, my problems, my kid’s VERY naughty behavior :), but when I focus up, where
they should be I see grace and love unconditional. I have strength, I have help,
and I TRUST in Him and all He has for me.
Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
